Tuesday, December 15, 2009

POKER TIPS FOR BEGINNERS

What follows are exerpts from the book “Math Shmath: The Fool’s Guide to Foolproof Winning at Hold ‘Em” written by Jersey Rob, the winningest player on the American Legion Post Charity Tournament circuit. It has helped me get my game to where it is, and it may help you…..

Chapter One: NEVER fold an Ace!
“The Ace is like the highest card in the deck! Nothing beats an Ace, so it doesn’t matter what the other card in your hand is, just call everything! And if FullTilt.com has taught me anything, it is that an Ace always comes out on the river……”

Chapter Four: Inside Straight Draws (and why you should bet the farm on them).
“It’s such a good feeling when that miracle card pops up once every 80 times or so (I don’t know the exact math) that it’s worth losing your entire stack the other 79 times (or so)……..On a related note; if you have one heart in your hand and the flop has two hearts, make no mistake my friend, you are on a flush draw! Stick it out to the bitter end- you only need two more hearts after all.”

Chapter Seven: ALWAYS Raise with Queen-four.
“I don’t know what it is about that hand, it just seems lucky…….and if it’s suited- forget about it! Suited hands are ALWAYS worth playing even if it’s 9-2. The flush is one of the highest up hands you can get……”

Chapter Thirteen: Keep your sense of humor.
“….Whenever somebody hits a horrible suck out on the river, it is always appropriate to point and laugh at the player who lost. It’s imperative that everybody keep their sense of humor. After all, poker is supposed to be fun right?.......On the other end of the spectrum, every once in awhile after a bad beat, flip the table over, chips and all. It let’s the other players know you are both passionate and deadly serious about winning. This is easier done in a home game, as the casino tables tend to be bolted down…..”

Conclusion:
“Remember; if you win, poker is a clever psychological stategery game, and if you lose, it’s a worthless game of chance for greasy dandruff riddled pedophiles. Keep this in mind and you will never have a bad day at the tables!”

I highly recommend this book. It is available wherever Jersey Rob’s car trunk is. If you follow this book’s advice meticulously I can honestly say that I would love to see you across from me at the poker table! Happy Gambling!

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