Friday, October 29, 2010


Wow, do people despise Brett Favre.

I underestimated the overwhelming hate for Favre that exists. Most of it is his own fault, but this last incident is really a witch hunt meant to embarrass and ridicule him as much as possible without merit. I really shouldn't even dignify it with a response, because it's already been blown out of proportion and then beaten to death like a rented mule, but I have to make a couple points. Besides, any shred of dignity left the building a long time ago with this story.

If his pursuit of Jen Sterger was so harassing and inappropriate, why wait over two years to report it? Why not report it right away? Oh, because things were still going well with Favre and the Jets at the time and no one wanted to make waves? So they waited two years to break the story on the week that Favre was returning to play against the Jets. Interesting timing. At first I thought it was another Linda Tripp at work. Some ugly, man-hating, nosy friend of Jen Sterger whispering in her ear to tell the world what a horrible pig that asshole Favre is. Now I think it was all just a chance for Sterger to get some attention. And clearly she has a strong desire for attention judging by the whorish outfits she was barely wearing as a "Jets hostess." What the hell is a "hostess" anyway? Sounds like a euphemism for an expensive escort. I just assumed they were prearranged town pumps for the Gang Green athletes anyway, so how can you fault a guy for using a service as it was intended? That's an issue for Favre and his wife to discuss, not the league office and the general public. Sure the guy is a jerk for cheating on his wife (or trying at least), but he's not the first or the last athlete to bang a groupie. As we speak, some squeaky clean, good image, star of the team from your area is probably doing something really dirty with a woman who isn't his wife.

People had gotten so sick of Favre's own media whoring about whether he was going to retire (again) or not retire (again) that the timing was perfect to take a cheap and easy shot at him. Nobody knew who the fuck Jen Sterger was two weeks ago, but they sure as hell know who she is now. Good job Jen, because success in life isn't about working hard or class, it's about how many people google your name for whatever reason. I'm sure her career will really take off now, like Donna Rice or Mindy Lawton. Who??? Exactly. Well, at least Fireman Ed was probably tugging his fire hose to some of the pictures that turned up of her dressed in Jets stripper clothes, so she's got that going for her.

Say what you will about Favre, the guy is a warrior. Arguably one of the top three QB's of all time, starting 291 straight games in a row (315 with playoffs) at his position is a completely amazing and incomprehensible feat. How many weeks do you think you'd last with numerous 380+ pound trained athletes trying to decapitate or maim you? He's had an unbelievable career, and it's too bad that all this bullshit is going to distract from his accomplishments. It figures that as a Vikings fan we finally get a first ballot hall of famer, the most exciting QB I've ever seen play, and on top of that sticking a purple knife in the heart of our arch rivals, and it has to be tainted now by all this bullshit. He might have been a vain, overpaid, ego maniac, but he was our vain, overpaid, ego maniac. Last year was a magical season for the Vikes, but it's been all downhill since Favre threw that interception in New Orleans in the fourth quarter. He should have retired after that game. There was no way he was going to come close to repeating his amazing performance from last year, especially with a tough injury in the NFC Championship game. He should have gone out on top, but instead he tried everyone's patience beyond the breaking point in the court of public opinion, and now people jump at the chance to kick him on his way out. Demanding media attention for his retirement soap opera is just like his playing style on the field: live by the sword, die by the sword.

Lastly, there is no way those photos are legit. Even if he's a scummy cheater, Favre is not stupid enough to text photos of his privates. He's a twenty year vet. This is not his first rodeo. If he had been cheating in the past, he did a good job covering it up. Besides, those photos had certain shortcomings that nobody would be bragging about. Let's just say it was not third and long. The photos were just a perfect chance to take a shot at somebody that everyone is sick of, and willing to believe anything bad about. There's only one thing that America likes more than an underdog; watching the mighty fall. People have to get their junior high taunts in: "We hate Favre.......and he's got a small dick!" I guess only his wife knows for sure.

And maybe a few Packers "hostesses."

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Monday, October 11, 2010


Just saw The Town tonight, and it was great. It's the first time I've been to a movie theater in almost a year! That's one thing that sucks about living in the sticks: almost no theaters. The good news is that the closest theater only charges $6.25, and that's for an evening showing! How cool is that? You can't get a fucking sandwich for $6.25! And not a single ad before the movie!
I started thinking about my favorite Boston movies, so here it is. Everyone loves lists. It's a little Affleck heavy, seeing as he wrote three of the movies, and directed two of them. What can I say- he's a great director. And I love Justin Timberlake too, so fucking deal with it! Here's my top five Boston movies of all time:

5) The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973) Good adaptation of the George V. Higgins novel. Lovable small time bumbling crooks, 70's Boston and muscle cars, plus Robert Mitchum and Peter Boyle. What's not to love?

4) Good Will Hunting (1997) Sappy, but well done, and a fairytale for all aspiring buddy screenwriters.

3) The Town (2010) Incredible cast, great location shots of Boston, and a heist movie that actually keeps your attention.

2) Gone Baby Gone (2007) Gritty Boston, warts and all.

1) Mystic River (2003) Beautiful aerial shots of Boston, incredible cast (with a little overacting by Spicoli). One of the best books I've ever read, and Clint Eastwood adapted it well. This movie really captures Dennis Lehane's portrait of his hometown, Dorchester.

Honorable mention: The Verdict (1980), The Departed (2006)

Monday, October 4, 2010


A couple of weekends ago, the Eastport Pirate Festival was in full swing. As I sat on the deck smoking a cigar, I could hear the festivities going on down on the waterfront including canons being fired. It all reminded me of a little story from my theater days.......

I dislocated my knee chasing pirates.

Well, technically I didn't dislocate it chasing pirates. I dislocated my knee getting into the backseat of a cop car. Either way, it's a good start for a story.

It was in 2004, and Loews had just announced a campaign to crack down on movie piracy. There was a $1000 reward for any employee who caught anybody trying to bootleg a movie. One day, we had numerous reports of somebody videotaping in theater 6, so another manager and I went to check it out. The movie was letting out, and another customer pointed out the person who had been filming. I followed the culprit and his girlfriend out of the theater while the other manager called the detail cop. The cop must have been sleeping somewhere, so I followed the couple out of the theater and up the street. By the time the detail cop caught up to where I was, they had gone into the Beantown Pub.

The cop and I went into the bar and confronted the couple. They were from Belgium, or one of those mayo-on-the-fries kind of places, and they were surprised to say the least. The cop made them show him their camera. It turns out they were taking photographs of the screen for some reason, but the camera's monitor made it look like they were filming. All pictures are prohibited, so the cop stood there as they deleted the 30 or so photos. We then left the red-faced tourists to enjoy their crappy potato skins and overpriced beer.

The cop offered me a ride back to the theater, and I gladly accepted. As I got in the back seat, I heard a horrible pop, and a lightening bolt of pain shot up my leg. I let out a blood curdling scream, and flopped on the seat. I looked down at my leg and I could see my kneecap sticking way off to the side. The pain was intense. The cop came around and called for an ambulance as soon as he saw my knee. We were in the heart of downtown near at least three hospitals, but it still took 15 minutes for the paramedics to show up. The cop was furious that it took that long when one of their own had called. I gotta say, I agreed with him. As I sat there, the cops holster was right at eye level. I can visualize the pattern of his gun's grip as if it were yesterday. The pain was so bad that I remember thinking that I could just grab the gun and shoot myself in the head. That's pretty bad when you're seriously contemplating death over putting up with another minute of torture.

Eventually they loaded me in the ambulance for a short but painfully bumpy ride to the nearest hospital. They knocked me out with some anesthesia, and reset my knee. I was in such a haze when I woke up and my roommate came to get me, that weeks later I thought I had been at a different hospital. Now I have phantom pains in my knee every time I walk by the Beantown Pub, get thrown in the back of a cop car, or hear a pirate joke.

Had I really hurt myself chasing a bounty on pirates?

Did the hospital really have to cut my best pair of dress pants and my shirt to get to my knee?

No pain medication for my recovery? What a jip......

Why do so many pirates have eye patches and striped shirts?

The biggest mystery still remains why the fuck anyone would go see Soul Plane, let alone take photos of it?!? I guess there's no accounting for European taste.