Dogs are men, cats are women.
Men are dogs, women are catty.
Dogs are stoners, cats are on acid.
Dogs sometimes cheat at poker, cats always cheat at poker.
Dogs are bodyguards, cats are assasins.
Dogs are linemen, cats are cornerbacks.
Dogs are loyal, cats are royal.
Dogs smell like old carpet, cats smell like cat food.
Dogs play catch, cats stare at you with disdain.
Dogs are smiley, cats are wiley.
Dogs eat poop, cats are finicky eaters.
Dogs are kindly strangers, cats are serial killers.
Dogs are Rodney Dangerfield, cats are Dennis Miller.
Dogs are good comforters, cats are good reverse pillows.
Dogs are Brian's Song, cats are Single White Female.
Dogs are a T-bone steak, cats are tuna tartare.
Dogs are lovable clowns, cats are misunderstood geniuses.
Dogs are color-blind, cats see in the dark.
Dogs are co-dependent, cats are fiercely independent.
Dogs are the sun, cats are the moon.