Saturday, November 5, 2011


Did you ever notice…...that when a person dies who was annoying, obnoxious, pretentious, self-centered, and humorless, we're supposed to be sad just because they were famous?  Why is that?  It seems to me that the sensible thing is that if we don't know somebody, and they didn't know us, then why should we care if they died?  Especially if that person was a grouchy pompous know-it-all who didn't give a shit about anyone but themselves?  It always amazes me when there's a big outpouring of sentiment after someone dies just because they were rich and/or famous.  Why is that?  It doesn't make sense to me.  You might say that's heartless, but maybe I'm just an old curmudgeon…
I once saw Andy Rooney talk about the cotton balls in aspirin bottles for 2 minutes.   Some people might find that amusing, but I found it incredibly annoying and useless.  I never liked his little "comic relief" nuggets at the end of 60 Minutes.  The whole "I'm a cantankerous old man who bitches about everything" routine got old after the first 10 seconds or so.
I had a friend who grew up in Fairfield Connecticut.  His father work for  Con-Edison repairing telephone lines, and rode into Manhattan every day on the same commuter rail as Andy Rooney.  He said that Rooney sat in the same seat every day and read the papers.  If anybody ever approached him  to say they were a fan or to talk to him at all, he was incredibly rude and told them to leave him alone.  As if he was so important preparing his stupid fucking routine for 60 Minutes that he did have time to say hi to somebody who actually liked his inane bullshit!  I firmly believe that a person's true character is defined by how they behave in the small moments when they think nobody is watching.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen is Ali G's "interview" with Andy Rooney.  One of my favorite lines is when Rooney says that he has " 50 books on the English language if you'd like to read one."  Eventually Ali G asks him if he is ending the interview "because I is black?" and then accuses him of being "racialist." Andy Rooney says that's not even a word , but the jokes on him because it really is a word.  It's a Brittish variation of racism, and was used correctly by Ali G.  Maybe you should've opened one of those 50 books Andy.


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