Thursday, June 9, 2011


I used to do a one line movie review blog called Cut to the Chase.  It was short lived, but fun.  I got the idea after reading a beautiful one word review in The Onion of the Eddie Murphy vehicle Boomerang (1992).  The review was simply "Boomerwrong."  That remains a classic, and inspired me to write concise, accurate, one line reviews.
Some of my favorites:

Momento (2000)  .movie cool fucking Pretty

The Pink Panther (2006)  This remake is an hour and a half of single entendres.

Minority Report (2002)  My only regret is that I have but two thumbs to give this movie down.

Unbreakable (2000)  Unbearable.

Bowfinger (1999)  Steve Martin's funny little flipping of the bird to Scientology and Anne Heche.

Some of my favorite guest posts:

Avatar (2009)  "Avatar blue."  -JJ Bowman (this one is meant to be said out loud)

2012 (2009)  "A touching story of the end of the world that helps an eight year old girl get over wetting the bed."  -J. Van Dreason

Chairman of the Board (1998)  "Chairman of the b-o-r-e-d!"  -Norm MacDonald  (Norm MacDonald was not actually a guest reviewer.  He said this on Letterman, so I stole it.)

Now that I live in a town with $6.25 matinees (you heard me right- first run movies, all shows, every day, before 6pm are $6.25!!) I'm going to be seeing a lot more movies.  Here are my one line reviews of the two most recent:

The Hangover 2 (2011)  Formula falls flat in Phillip's follow-up to phenomenal first film.

X-Men: First Class (2011)  This movie should have been called X-Men: Third Rate.  It was like the director ate every comic book and crappy movie cliche and then vomited them up on the screen in a huge technicolor yawn.

Feel free to comment with your own one line reviews......

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