Wednesday, December 15, 2010


You know you're old when:

Your doctor is younger than you.

All slang starts to sound ridiculous.

One of your younger facebook friends comments on how creepy it was that some guy (who happens to be the same age as you) was hitting on her friend.

You hear "45" and think of a vinyl record, not a gun.

You remember cords on phones.

You refer to an iPod as a "contraption."

The guy at the grocery store calls you "sir."

You prefer every band's "older, better" music.

You owned a typewriter.

You need to get an 8 year old to show you how to work the DVR.

One word: Matlock.

You remember Michael Jackson as a young black man, not an old white woman.

All the best athletes from your childhood are now fat coaches.

The bouncer apologizes after carding you.

Instead of laughing at those silly motorized chairs that go up stairs, you start wondering how much they cost.

Every young person is attractive, simply because they're young.

You long for the pre DNA days when serial killing was so much easier. (just kidding, just kidding...........I actually enjoy the challenge)

You've seen somebody smoking on a plane in your lifetime.

Wide ties have been popular and unpopular more than twice each in your lifetime.

All your favorite actors start dying.

You care less about the future of the planet, and more about always knowing where the closest bathroom is.

You watch CBS (sorry- I'm contractually obligated to make at least one "old people watch CBS" joke).

You can remember when Sally Struthers was hot.

You know who Sally Struthers is.

You forgot what the category was half way through this list.

Now I have to go eat some fiber, bitch about skateboarders, horribly mispronounce some young celebrity's name, and write a letter to the newspaper (whatever the hell that is).

1 comment:

  1. I like your blog. This post reminds me of Andy Rooney!